hate mail me
If you are offended by foul language then get the fuck out.
Names have been changes to protect the profoundly stupid.
Before we proceed to such tales of anguish, I must say that I take half of the blame for what went on, particularly in the case of Mark and Rob. I put up with way more than I should have, therefore by allowing it, I was at fault as well. A lesson to you, if you let him get away with it, you are just as much to blame. So now, on with the shit.
Mark- The Debaucherous Thief
I was fourteen. He was seventeen. I was in love. Or lust was more like it. I met him at a Renaissance fair (where I learned later on is the *worst* place to pick up guys) and was completely swept off my feet. An older guy liked me and it made me feel wonderful. So we dated, I went to the faire every weekend to see him and we made out in the back of his booth. Mark was my first everything really. Then, a few weeks later when he turned eighteen he very coldly informed me that he would not date me anymore because I was too young for him. I was crushed as well as angered, I asked him why he bothered in the first place and he gave me some lame answer, which I do not remember. About the same time he told me that, I saw him with another girl, kissing her and groping her all over after I was supposed to be his "girlfriend".
Well, I was young and stupid and I did not want to let Mark go. I kept in touch with him even after faire was over. I snuk out of the house to see him, hitchhiked miles to get to his house and ran up the phone bill to call him. He told me he loved me, and I believed him. I ended up loosing my virginity to him in a tent in his backyard. This was the beginning of what was to be an off and on two-year relationship in which he cheated on me with my next door neighbor, my friends and various other girls that I did not know. I do not know why I put up with this for so long, perhaps it was that strong attachment that every girl has to her first. Eventually, I suppose I had enough of it, and I lost interest in him when I was about Seventeen.
Drew-The Inhuman ExploiterI met Drew through Mark, and I was extremely attracted to him. He had a girlfriend who looked almost exactly like me, and we would all double date together (Mark, Drew and Michelle and I). After having been dumped by Mark again, Drew set his sights on me. His girlfriend Michelle had recently dumped him as well, so we were both in a great deal of pain, the difference was Drew was just as much of an asshole as Mark, if not more. We started dating; he would come to my house and visit me. Then he started pressuring me for sex. I really did not want to, but after undergoing hours of manipulation I gave in. Then all Drew seemed to be coming to see me for was a piece of ass, and I willingly gave it to him, desperately wanting love. After a few weeks of this he became exceedingly cruel, calling me on the phone and calling me a slut. He would call five times a day saying these things, and he would have his friends call and say horrible things to me. This went on for months and months, until finally I called the police on him, and he promptly stopped. Word has it that his ex-girlfriend Michelle had to move away in secrecy because he was stalking her.
Jason-The Superficial SoldierWhen I was sixteen, I met Jason at a Renaissance faire (yet another faire guy). It was literally love at first sight. He was not like the other football jocks I had dated, but more intelligent, romantic and eloquent. I remember this very vividly to this day - he was wearing a sign around his neck that said "blank stares - 5pence". I was doing my own routine walking around balancing a tankard full of water on my head, asking people if they had seen my tankard. He walked up to me, and I gave him the token line "Good sir, hast thou seen my tankard?" and out of the blue, he kissed me. It was bliss, my tankard fell to the ground as we kissed. We had a brief relationship, which he ended because we lived too far away from eachother, even though I was able to see him at least once a week. He broke my heart, he was the first guy that I really had a lot in common with, and we seemed to be exactly on the same level.
Over the years, I have kept in touch with Jason. We have had very lengthy phone conversations in which we discussed nearly everything. We have found out that we are nearly almost exactly alike, sharing the same passions and feelings about everything - almost. I have since tried to strike up something with Jason, but he informed me that I am too fat for him. *sighs* Yet another heartbreaking piece of news, now I have to live with the fact that my physical appearance will always be an issue with him.
A few months ago, he called me out of nowhere with desperation. He told me that he was going in the Army, and that he wanted to say goodbye to me. I would have gone to say goodbye to him, but I was with Chris at the time, and I did not feel that that was appropriate. Jason practically told me on the phone that he loved me, and that there were so many things that he regretted and that he was sorry for being shallow. He also told me that he was going to write me every week and that when he came home, that he was going to take care of my boyfriend.
While he was in boot camp, he did write me often, and I wrote him back. He even called me a few times, which flattered me more, though it was still mostly platonic because I was with Chris.
Now that Jason is out of boot camp, he has stopped writing me as well as calling me. I have written him several letters but I have not heard so much as a peep from him. Oh well, I should not have gotten my hopes up. This is typical of any asshole going into the service really ***Update - 3/2000 Well, after a phone call to his parents I found out that Jason was coming home for the Holidays. Though he had stopped writing and e-mailing me I was still quite hopeful. I started to work out and I managed to loose some weight in hopes to impress him. I called him in late December, and he completely blew me off. I asked him if he wanted to maybe get together for coffee or something and he said, "I will have to check my schedule" quite coldly and hung up. Needless to say he did not call me once his whole 2-week stay here. I just can't believe men sometimes, after all the letters I wrote him, after all the bullshit he said to me when he was in boot camp you would think he would at least call to say "hi" when he came home. I still have the messages on my answering machine of him begging me to call him the night before he left for basic training. Jason has still yet to reply to any of my emails, what a superb chicken-shit he turned out to be.
Rob-The Domineering Troglodyte
Uuuuuuugh! Where do a freakin begin? I met Rob when I was seventeen, through a friend. He was nineteen, and we hit it off very well. This was my first *real* relationship, and it lasted for three years, most of which was hell.
For the first six months of our relationship, everything was great. We were in love, we went everywhere together and did everything together. It was almost as if we were married, because Rob *always* wanted me with him, which made me feel wonderful. But after a while, Rob started to get really moody. It got to the point where he was always in a bad mood over something insignificant really. He was dragging me down, becoming increasingly mean and angry. We had fight after fight about this, and he would always say he was sorry saying that he would stop, but he never did.
A year later, Rob literally ruined a trip to Vegas that we took because of his bad mood. He was complaining and griping about everything, and it made his friends and me miserable. When we got back, I broke up with him while at a friend's house. Luckily, a bunch of our friends were there, because he promptly tried to kill himself trying to hurl himself off of the balcony in front of me. It took four people to hold him down, and he went completely bezerk (this is *major* manipulations ladies, about the cruelest thing a guy can do to you). I ran inside crying, and went home because I was so scared.
Rob came to my house the next day on his knees, crying with flowers in his hands. I took him back, but mostly because I was overwhelmed with guilt, and he was incredibly overbearing upon me. Shortly afterwards, it was back to the same thing, same behavior etc. When we moved to another city (I moved in with my dad, he got an apartment) it got worse. I was back in my hometown that I grew up in, hanging out with my old friends, and Rob did not like that at all. He became very controlling and possessive telling me that my friends were no good, and getting pissed off at me every time I went out with them.
Around 96 I really started to grow up. I was becoming more of an individual, my intrests were becoming more diverse and this really made Rob mad. Though I was becoming stronger and more independant I was still putting up with all of his crap. I was affraid to break up with Rob, fearing that he would do what he did before. He began to become very close with my family, finding every way that he could to secure himself with me because he knew we were drifting apart. He still became increasingly controlling and critical. He critiscized all of my new intrests and freinds and did not want me to have any part with them. Yet, his own friends lied to him telling him that I cheated on him at a party, and he believed them before even talking to me. To this day he still believes them, and that crushed me into peices. I was utterly backstabbed by his friend Aaron who had told me that I would always be his friend.
Near the end, I tried to tell Rob as best as I could, as nicely as I could that I was not happy with him. It went in one ear and out the other, he would not listen to me. One night, we went to one of my friend's houses for a small party. I wanted to drink, something I had not done since before I was with Rob because he forbid it. Well I was shocked this one night, because he actually said it was ok for me to drink (why I felt I needed his damn permission I do not know). I got rip roaring drunk with some others that were there, and I was having a great time. I am a very happy drunk, and I was all over Rob telling him how much I loved him. He told me that I looked stupid, and to stop drooling on myself (which I was not). He was incredibly mean to me when I was drunk, which was not suprising at this point. The clincher though was the next day. I did not have much of a hangover because I had drunk a lot of water and such. My friend Alice was *really* sick - she had drank twice as much as I had (and I had a *lot*). When I got up, Rob promptly started to make fun of me, and then reprimanded me like I was his child trying to get me to feel guilty for what I had done. He refused to sleep with me that night, and slept out in the car. What really infuriated me, was right after he would say something incredibly cruel to me, he would turn around and hover over Alice saying, "are you ok?" He was so concerned about my friend who had drank twice as much as I did, but deemed me as the horrible one. That made me steam. Of course he blamed me for his behavior, like a typical man.
A week later, we got into another fight. It was over this computer. He had been accusing me of having affairs with people on the Internet, and he purposely fixed up my computer so that it was a pain in the ass to surf the net. He refused to work on it, and put it back the way it was, so I told him that I was going to have someone else do it. Then he got all mad at me, and I called him on it saying "If you are going to be an asshole, go home". He then got physically violent with me, and it ended there. That is where I drew the line. I told him to get the fuck out of my life and that I hated him.
For weeks, he came bearing flowers and bearing tears, but I told him to fuck off. The only way in his dilluded mind he could conceive breaking up with me was to make me the enemy. At that point I did not care, I desperately wanted him out of my life, I felt trapped with him. After a couple of weeks of pathetic phone calls and emails, he stopped, and I have not heard or seen him since (though I hear he is married now to a very immature and ditzy girl who is all over him, Guess he got what he wanted).
Sean-The Clueless Freak
I met Sean shortly after I broke up with Rob. Sean was generally a cool guy, with the exception of the fact that he was obsessed with sex. The very first thing he asked me when he first called me was "are you shaved or fuzzy?" I did not really care, seeing as how I am a really easygoing person. We dated for a few months, but after he completely forgot Valentines Day - I stopped seeing him.
Alex-The Possessive Prince
I met Alex through Sean. He was Sean's roommate when Sean and I were dating. After Sean and I fizzled out, I was obsessed with getting a hold of Alex. I was giddy over him, he seemed like the perfect person to date. When I did get a hold of him, we decided to meet at Denny's for a date with some friends. Well, needles to say, after the first date with him I lost that giddy feeling. He complained a lot, and like most other guys, was grumpy. He talked a lot of shit about other people, and left me with the check.
I still date him every once and a while, but he never wants to take me anywhere (even
though he makes 50K a year). He is always like "wanna come to my house and hang
out?" or "Can I come to your house and hang out?". He is cheap, and he is
also bewildered by the fact that I won't have sex with him. My morals scare him.
Update 4-00 Well after giving Alex one more try in the hopes that something might happen, he fucked up. During a double date in which he had one drink and started telling my friend how cute she was repeatedly, as well as informing me that the fact that I was not having sex with him was making his life miserable, I decided to let him go. No big loss.
Chris-The Sniveling Drama Queen
Even though I was twenty-one when I met him, Chris was the first guy that I *really* fell in love with. I met him at school. He was eighteen and very shy, he had never had a real girlfriend before. I could tell he liked me, because he smiled at me and sat next to me in class. I started up a conversation with him, and not long after that he was bringing me gifts and kissing my hand. I was just literally enraptured with him, we had a great deal in common, and he seemed so humble. I invited him over to my house for our first date, and though he was really nervous we had a great time.
The next month, we were boyfriend and girlfriend. It had been a year since I was in a relationship, and this was total rapture. Everything was wonderful for the first few months and I was actually contemplating marriage. I had not thought of marriage with any other guy, though a few had asked me. Chris seemed always so concerned with keeping me happy, and we had a great deal of fun together. We partied on the weekends like high school kids. I did take his virginity not long after, and we had *great* sex. Sexually he blew me away. He was into all of the kinky stuff I was, and the passion between us grew even more powerful.
Then, Chris started to get neurotic on me. He was doing lousy in school and was all upset about that. At first, I just thought he was going through a bad spot, but his crises became more and more idiotic and frequent. Chris was turning into a drama queen. Any chance he got, he would start some kind of fight with me so he could monopolize my attention. He was in a state of constant crises. Then he started a bunch of bullshit with all of these physical ailments he constantly whined about. Whenever I got mad at him, he would suddenly become "sick" so he did not have to deal with it. He even tried the "I am gonna kill myself" number on me when I was upset with him one night.
Chris was whining about every little thing, accusing me of "not understanding him and his feelings". His feelings were the world, and that was all that mattered. The world was revolving around him and all of his problems all of the time. After a night in which I found out two of my closest friends had gotten in a fight and stabbed eachother I had had enough. Chris was with me, we went to their house and it was obviously a tense situation, and Chris was doing his "woe is me" bullshit when my best friend had just been stabbed. Chris said he was acting like that because he did not eat (*rolls eyes*). I broke up with him on the 4th of July, telling him that I could not handle all of his melodramatic shit anymore.
This is the worst breakup I have ever head. I have been depressed for months now, just feeling completely ugly and insignificant. Chris made it hell for me, because of his indesciveness and mind games. I told him, that I still wanted to date him, that I still loved him, it was just that I did not want a commitment. He then proceeded to play games with me, one week telling me he wanted me back, the next saying he did not want me at all. Then the next week back to wanting me back again. He did not want to date. He wanted all or nothing. He figured if he could not have me completely, he did not want me at all. Though he thought it would be ok if we just fucked (how suprising).
After several long conversations he informed me that I was too high-maintenance for him (he did not want to drive 20 miles once a week to pick me up). He also said that he is not ready for a relationship, though now I hear he has a new girlfriend now. He moved on only a couple months after we broke up, after telling me he would always love me and he would die without me. Chris made this big deal about being my friend, and always being here for me. But he lied. He has not answered any of my emails, or calls or anything. My friends tell me that he acts like he is a big fucking Casanova now, thinking that he is all that and a bag of chips. I do not ever expect to see him ever again.
Jeff-The Blabbering Fool
This is an interesting story, though this man hardly broke my heart he managed to really piss me off and resolve my growing anger towards men. I met Jeff at a club, or I should say rather that he met me. I think I said one nice thing to him and he was on me like the black vortex. Admittedly, I enjoyed the attention. He was so interested in knowing who I was, and he was quite intense as well a psychic. After merely an hour of talking he proposed to me (take my advice girls, this is really not sane). Completely dumbfounded by the praise I was getting, I gave into his bullshit - but not completely. Anyways, so we started dating. Jeff was telling me that he loved me the same night I met him, but I could not say the same to him. This man went on and on for weeks about how I was his soulmate/perfect match/future wife blah blah blah. It was all BULLSHIT. He started to pressure me into saying "I Love You" back, though he knew I would not mean it. He also began to pressure me to commit to him; I had to tell him over and over that I only wanted to date so I could get to know him better. Still he told me that he loved me, and he would wait forever for me
Not suprisingly he gave up after only two months of his so-called valiant effort to win my heart. All those things he said were a total crock, especially since I see him at the clubs telling all the girls the same crap he told me.
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